Know your your options
Placing your baby for adoption is a difficult decision, but it’s an important one that will impact you and your child’s life forever. No matter what anyone tells you, choosing adoption is a personal decision that only you can make. The opinion of family and friends is important, but in the end it is your life and your future.
You must make what you believe is the best decision for you and your unborn baby. Contacting an adoption agency in your state is a good first step in learning about adoption and your options. The agency social worker can help you find the “perfect” family for your child. With open adoption, you are able to choose the family yourself, get to know them and find the best way to stay connected.
An adoption social worker can help you explore your options and make a plan for you and your baby. Your decision will depend on many factors including your life circumstances, your goals and wishes for this child, your financial situation and your relationship with the birth father.
As you think about adoption, it may be helpful to consider the following questions:
- Can I provide for my child’s financial, emotional, and physical needs?
- If you are already parenting: Will parenting this baby make it difficult to meet the needs of my other children?
- Can I reach my educational or other personal goals and still parent this child?
- How does my family feel about this pregnancy and will they support my decision, or help me raise this child?
- What are my dreams for my baby’s future?
It’s normal to experience a range of feelings before, during, and after an adoptive placement – even if you know you have made the right choice. Placing a baby for adoption does involve a loss and a sense of sorrow. In order to ensure that your experience is a positive one, you will want to have an experienced, caring counselor supporting you throughout the process. Friends, family members and clergy may also offer you support during this difficult time, but not everybody has supportive people around them.
In the end — if you choose adoption — knowing that your child is part of a stable, secure and loving family will give you peace of mind. If you choose open adoption, you may stay connected with this child and his or her adoptive family. Every birth mother must decide what staying connected looks like, and it is important to find an adoptive family who has a similar view of open adoption.
Unlike adoptions done years ago, it is no longer saying a final “goodbye” at the time of the placement . The relationship you will have with the child is a special one. You will always be his or her birth mother, even though you will not be parenting.
Adoption Center for Family Building is an open adoption agency licensed in Illinois and Indiana. For more information about placing your baby for adoption, please visit our website at www.centerforfamily.com or call our toll free number at 1-800-869-1005. Birth parent counselors are available to answer questions Monday-Sunday from 8am until 9pm. You may also request a free information packet or text us at 847-366-6351. Tobi or Maggie will be happy to speak with you.