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Dear Birthmother: I think you are very loving and brave for considering adoption. I know it is not an easy choice, and making this decision shows the amount of strength you have and the enormous amount of love you already feel towards your unborn child. Please be assured your child will grow up knowing his or her adoption story. I welcome an open adoption, hopefully sharing some level of communication with you over the years. What follows gives a little glimpse into who I am, and I look forward to getting to know you as well. Who I am My name is Kelly, and I have wanted to be a mother since I was very young. As early as high school, I dreamed of having a big family—I wanted six kids! I thought I would get married after graduating from college, start having kids right away and live happily ever after. Of course, life never seems to happen quite the way we plan. I have been in serious relationships, but haven't met the right man at the right time. I never stopped thinking about starting a family, even as a single person, but wanted to be sure I had the right support before I pursued this option. Finally, about three years ago, after some very serious soul-searching, I knew I was ready to be a mother. I thought about adoption then, but the quickest path to being a mother seemed to be trying to conceive a child myself. I worked with a fertility doctor, but after many attempts, and a miscarriage, it was not successful. I am excited to turn to adoption as my way of building a family. My Greatest Asset: My Family I come from a big, loving, active and very close family. I was born in Chicago, and have lived in that area most of my life. I have one older brother and two younger brothers. They are all married, and I have three nephews and a niece. Two of my brothers and my parents live in the nearby area, as do aunts, uncles and many cousins. I was raised in the kind of family that got together often. We celebrated all of the holidays, all of my cousins' birthdays and graduations, and any special occasion with big family parties. Though we are all adults now, we still get together often. I love to host family parties, and maybe it's because I am the only daughter, but I am usually the one making the plans and coordinating everyone's schedules! My one younger brother has two children, and I see them often. I am "Auntie Kelly," who spoils them with little treats and outings. One of my favorite activities is having a sleepover at my house. There are always games, songs, and crafts at Christmastime, making gifts for everyone that the kids can take pride in giving. To me, these handmade treasures are priceless, and are prominently displayed in my home. My maternal grandmother was the youngest of 10 children, so my father had 41 first cousins! He grew up in a small town in Minnesota, and though my grandparents moved to Chicago long ago, many of their relatives stayed in his hometown. We visited there often when we were growing up, and got to know many of my father's relatives. Even now, we still see some of my dad's cousins and their children on a regular basis. My children and theirs will be third cousins, and I think it is amazing that we are still close. I also have two cousins who were adopted. I am especially close to one of them, Michelle, as we are only three years apart. Both were adopted at a time when all adoptions were closed, and the records were sealed. I have had long conversations with her and my aunt, which has helped me gain insight into feelings of those involved in adoption. My whole family embraced my adopted cousins, just as they will wholeheartedly embrace my child. I know directly from experience that love, not biology, creates bonds. Support One of the best things about a family like mine is the ready-made friendships. Though I am close to all of my brothers, my youngest brother (he is nine years younger than me) is one of my best friends. I grew up helping to take care of him, and we have always gotten along very well. We even shared an apartment together for three years as adults, and much to most people's amazement, we never had a fight during those three years! And though I am close to many of my cousins, my cousin Steve and his wife, Barb, are two of my closest friends. They are quick to invite me to do things with them, and I know I can count on them in a crisis. When I broke my wrist right after a move a couple of years ago, they brought their whole family over and helped me unpack all day. My
whole family (parents, brothers, aunts, uncles and cousins) and my close
friends know about my decision to become a parent, and have been incredibly
supportive. I have had nothing but warm wishes and offers to help. They
have given me the strength to keep going on the roller coaster ride that
fertility treatments have been, and continue to give me strength as I
pursue adoption. With so many family members and close friends in the
area, I can honestly say I have a great support system. Whether
I need an extra hand, or a babysitter in an emergency, I know I
have people I can count on to help when I need it. I have always been the kind of person who looks at the positive side of things. So, even though my life did not go quite as planned, I always figured that since I was still single and childless, I would live my single life to the fullest. I love to travel, and have taken many interesting trips over the years, both in the US and Europe. I have been to Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany, to London around the holidays, and several other fascinating places. I also love to read, and already enjoy sharing this love with my niece and nephews. I have given them many books over the years, and we have enjoyed reading things together. I am a big fan of holidays as well. Between all of the parties, my family Christmas seems to last about a week. And I love Halloween, too. I have thrown a Halloween party for many years, and dress up almost every year! As for my personality, I think that I am a warm person, who already has very strong maternal instincts. I am loyal, and I have known most of my close friends since grade school or high school. I am pretty easygoing, and don't let things stress me out too much. I think life is too short to hang on to anger and bitterness. Work Though I would love to be a stay at home mom, I will need to continue to work to be able to support my family. I am currently the executive director of a trade association in the construction industry. What that really means is that I am the boss of a small office. One of the things I like most about my work is that I do a variety of different things every day, from editing a magazine, to planning meetings, to answering technical questions. I am used to juggling many things at once. My office is only about 15 minutes from my home, and I am fortunate that I can have a flexible schedule. I will be home with the baby for the first three months. After that, I plan to work from home two days a week, and my cousin Barb has agreed to act as a caregiver on the other days, at least while my children are young. And I have had offers from both my brothers and their wives, and from my aunt and several of my cousins, to step in and babysit as I need. Having this loving and helpful support system is what makes me confident I will be a successful single mom. My Community I live in a large, two-bedroom townhouse in the northwest suburbs of Chicago, very close to many family members and friends. Though I may have a house someday, for now I like not having to spend my free time doing lawn maintenance, snow shoveling, etc. I do have a nice lawn around my building, and plenty of room inside. I have a bedroom that is just waiting to be turned into a nursery, and a large room on the lowest level that will make a great playroom. I am also only about three blocks from an elementary school that has a great playground. I am also fortunate to own a condo in Florida, near where my parents have a second home (they spend the cold winters in Florida and the summers in the Chicago area). It is a great vacation spot for families, only a couple of blocks from the beach and the ocean. Being near the water is one of my favorite things. In Closing I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my letter. However, no matter what your decision, I will always have the greatest respect and admiration for you for having the courage to make this difficult choice. I promise to provide a loving and joyful household, and to make sure your child is raised knowing the amount of love and courage you possess. I would be honored to be selected as the adoptive parent of your child. If you would like us to get to know each other better, please contact me anytime, toll free, at 800-515-9592, or e-mail at kphappy@netzero.net. You may also call Maggie Benz, my adoption counselor, at 800-869-1005. Wishing
you all the best, About
the Center |
Interested
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